


Tin Man

by Eumelia



Category: Iron Man (2008)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-15
Updated: 2009-11-14
Packaged: 2017-10-02 19:46:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eumelia/pseuds/Eumelia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>About month after the events on top of the Stark Arch Reactor Tony isn't feeling too well and he goes on a strange and fantastic journey. Pepper is there... Rhody is there... Jarvis is there too...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tin Man (1/9)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Marvel owns it all, I just like to play with other people's toys and get no money from it.  
> Rating: PG-13 for disturbing imagery  
> Author's Note: This is my first fic in this fandom and my first fic in about five years, so please, be kind and gentle with my poor fragile ego.  
> This fic was originally posted on Livejournal in some fan communities and on my own personal LJ (the master list of this fic can be found [here](http://eumelia.livejournal.com/328676.html).  
> In Chapter 2 - the link is a Youtube video of the Leonard Cohen Song.  
> In Chapter 3 - the link is a Youtube video of the Billy Joel song.  
> In Chapter 9 - Tony is singing the Tin Man's verse from "The Wizard of Oz".
> 
> Thank you in advance for reading!

_He walked through the cliff side mansion, the absence of light making the edges blur around him. He glided up the few stairs towards the piano. _

"Good evening, sir" said a man who looked like Jarvis, the way Tony often imagined he would as a person; tall, thin, sharp pale face and icy blue eyes.   
Jarvis was playing a soft rendition of chop sticks_ on the piano that was floating around in pieces, the long pale fingers found each broken ivory and ebony key with ease, the sound pure and sharp._

"Hi, Jarvis" Tony said, still gliding along the floor.  
"The time is of no consequence, the temperature is a bit too cool for you and you are bleeding from a hole in your chest, sir".

Tony looked at his hands; they were brown with caked blood. His chest felt tight and as he brought his hand to his chest, it went through a gaping hole where he felt his heart was missing from his rib cage. He looked down and saw his bare feet were drenched in a pool of crimson.  
"Looking for something?" he heard and looked up to see Obadiah holding his heart; beating, bleeding and glowing cerulean blue.

Tony woke with a yelp, clutching his t-shirt. Without thinking he tore the flimsy cotton and looked down at his arc reactor; glowing the same cerulean blue as always, creating blurry shadows in the corners of his workshop.

"Sir" said Jarvis suddenly, his voice coming from nowhere and every where, gave Tony a further jump "my sensors are reading that your heart beat is rapid and that your breathing increased significantly in the past four point three minutes… are you all right?"  
"I'm fine, Jarvis"  
"Do you require Miss Potts?"  
"No, I think I can manage a little late night insomnia"  
"Sir, it is two forty-five pm. Miss Potts has been here since seven o-five am"  
Tony frowned "What time did I go to sleep?"  
"You lost consciousness at five thirty six am"  
Tony blinked and said "Lights", Jarvis carried out the order.

Tony removed what was left of his t-shirt and groaned, throwing it to the floor where it was quickly swept away by Butterfingers who shot down the garbage shoot.   
Dummy followed Tony and handed him the black silk dressing gown, an absent "good boy" was replied with an enthusiastic sounding chirp.   
He walked up the stairs to the living room, out of the corner of his eye he saw the empty space where the piano used to be.   
He turned his eyes towards the sofa where he saw Pepper (dressed in a charcoal pin-stripe pant-suit, the vest beneath a light azure that brought out her eyes and didn't clash with her strawberry blonde hair, which was twisted into a professional up-do with just a few wisps let out to frame her impeccably made up face with just a touch of pinkish lip-gloss and pale blue eyeliner and transparent mascara… Tony wasn't sure why he was cataloging all this) multi-tasking on her laptop, blackberry and cellular phone ear-piece.

She still managed to sneak in a sip of coffee between breathes and talking to whoever was on the other side of the phone.  
"I'm sorry," she said "but Mr. Stark just isn't available at this moment… no, nothing will stop his yearly donation to your foundation… of course… good day!" the smile she had forced onto her lips and voice slipped as she took off the ear-piece.   
"Good afternoon Mr. Stark" she smiled genuinely at him.  
"Good afternoon Miss Potts" he smiled, as the last residual memory of his dream evaporated. He could no longer remember waking up petrified that his heart was missing from his chest.


	2. Tin Man (2/9)

"Mr. Stark if you don't mind, I'd like to go over your revised schedule, seeing as you decided that today was a bust" she stood and walked (so elegantly on her four inch heels) towards him.

"Not a bust per say… merely slow to begin" he smirked and poured himself two fingers of bourbon.  
"Would you like me to order you lunch, sir?"   
"No need" he downed the drink and grinned boyishly at her, making sure it reached his eyed, though it was difficult to maintain.  
Pepper paused a moment too long from replying.  
She said "In that case, you should be ready for a meeting with the heads of the various R and D departments at Stark Industries that I have scheduled for you at the head office at four" she smirked.  
"Jarvis, what's the time?"  
"It is now three o-six pm, sir"  
"Better make it four thirty"

The meeting actually started somewhere around five (which was actually when Pepper had scheduled it, knowing full well that Tony would need half an hour to even bother to begin his morning, now afternoon, ablutions).   
It was a successful meeting, actually; with Tony listening to the R and D team leaders giving him reports on new ideas for Stark Industries now that Weapons and Arms were off the table (and it would need to be fast; SI now owed a lot of money to various companies and persons to which it breached dozens of various contracts and the corporate body was haemorrhaging money at a rate that didn't bare mentioning. Though Jarvis did mention the rate to Pepper after she asked, she had had to sit down with her head between her knees for a few minutes after).

Tony spent an hour doing what he enjoyed best; brain storming while other people wrote down his ideas then went on to develop it (though he preferred it when he was alone and the "people" was Jarvis or Pepper or Rhodey), first and foremost developing sustainable and clean energy through Arc Reactor technology.   
"But Mr. Stark, just rebuilding the original generator will cost the company millions" said one of the lab coat, who kept fiddling with the bridge of her square, almost opaque glasses.  
"You know the old saying," he grinned, charming all the panicking scientists in the room "In order to make money, you gotta spend money. And I guarantee the board will grant the money".

After the meeting in the elevator to the parking lot, Pepper said to Tony "You really can't, you know"  
"Can't what?"  
"Guarantee the board's support"  
"Oh that" he waved dismissively "I know that"  
"So…"  
"I have money that isn't tied to the company" he declared.   
He frowned "Don't I?"  
"You do, but-"  
"There you go. No problem!"  
He winked at her and sauntered across the lot towards the limo.  
"Happy," Tony called to his bodyguard-cum-chauffer "Take us to _Aria_ if you please. I'm in need for some quality Martinis. Aren't you, Pepper?" he turned to his PA, her hair now down and wispy all over her face, neck and shoulders.  
"Only if they're dirty, sir" she replied dryly and moved her hair out of her face.  
Tony grinned, leaned into the open door and sat across it. He patted the leather next to him, indicating that Pepper should sit next to him. Pepper rolled her eyes, sat next to the door and closed it behind her.

"Tony, we don't actually have time for drinks" Pepper began.  
"Ah! But it's not just drinks, it's music as well, hence the name _Aria_." he raised an eyebrow and quirked his mouth "Do you know what an aria is, Miss Potts?"  
"Yes, Mr. Stark. I know what an aria is-"  
"An aria is an elaborate solo sung with accompaniment, as in an opera" he said, as though reciting from a dictionary. He cleared his throat and continued "like this" he said and to Pepper's utter astonishment he began to sing _[So Long, Marianne](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZ61su9H5RU)_.

His voice wasn't actually suited for folk, it was a bit too high and sounded strained, as though it was difficult for him to breathe, but he never faulted and his smoky, earthy tones made the old song sound like a lullaby. He knew the lyrics, which Pepper found odd, because Tony was more likely to listen to Def Leppard or Black Sabbath, not Leonard Cohen. As he reached the fifth verse his voice began to waver and a tiny frown line appeared between Pepper's brows.  
"_For now I need your hidden love/I'm cold as a new razor blade/You left when I told you I was curious/I never said that I was brave…_"  
His voice trailed off.

He didn't finish the song and gave a dry chuckle "Well, that was actually a cappella and not really an aria, as there was no, ya know, background music."  
Pepper didn't reply.  
"Stop it"  
"Stop what, sir?"  
"Stop looking at me like that"  
"Like what?"  
"Like you think I've blown a gasket"  
"Having problems with the armored suit, sir?" she tried for levity.  
"Ah-ah, none of that. You won't distract me from my task"  
"Isn't it my job to make sure you aren't distracted from your task?" she raised an eyebrow of her own "which is to run the company, sir"  
"Boring"  
"Mr. Stark-"  
"Hey, look, we've arrived! C'mon Miss Potts, let us drink, sing and be merry" he smiled charmingly and moved across the limo, opened the door and tossed his suit jacket inside along with the tie and opened the first three buttons of his dress shirt making sure that the glow of the arc was hidden.

He turned to see Pepper step out of the limo, a stern look on her face.  
"Oh, pshaw! You'll have a wonderful time!" he grabbed her wrist and saw Happy follow them silently; it was a wonder that a man that size managed to blend into the background like that.  
"Mr. Stark, I really -"  
"Ah-ah-ah! This is Happy hour, not Office hour and I'm 'Tony', not 'Mr. Stark'. Got it? Good. Knew you would."


	3. Tin Man (3/9)

Pepper was sure that in the seven years of her employment in Stark Industries and the past four as Tony's Personal Assistant, she had never seen him behave this way. She sat at a table, eating the olives left in the Martini glasses as she watched Tony play the grand and even make up dirty limericks to _chop sticks_.  
She turned to Happy, who was standing next to her, stoically surveying the room; "Happy, I think it's time we go"

"Yeah, Miss Potts, I think so too" he looked at her and gestured with his head towards the grand. Tony had begun to play _[Piano Man](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ1_M_L_RSI)_ tough his drunken state was slurring the words and making the notes choppy and clumsy.

Pepper shook her head and rolled her eyes in Tony's direction.  
Happy shook his head and pointed with his thumb forcefully.  
Pepper clenched her jaw, pointed towards Happy and then towards Tony.  
Happy rolled his eyes and said "Never mind".  
Pepper looked aside and saw Tony advance wobbly towards the table, a grin plastered on his face.

Pepper had seen him this way on more occasions that she could count, but never before did she think he looked pathetic. His sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his eyes glassy and addled.   
"Pep-pep-pepper… oh, Pepper" he sighed as he dropped onto the chair next to her and grabbed her wrist for the second time that evening (now night), "What would I do without you?"

"Mr. Stark-"she began, but he put a finger to her mouth and shh-ed her, her eyes widening at the gesture.

"I've told you you're all I got" he slurred, his hand dropped from her mouth to her thigh "I'm so lonely" he smiled vapidly at her. Her eyes narrowed and she shoved his hand away from her and stood up from her chair smoothing her suit and blushing furiously at Tony's display.

Happy watched impassively, though his eyes were full of sympathy for Pepper.  
"Mr. Stark" she said, pushing forward the boundary of formality "It's very late"  
"Past my bed time?"  
"Indeed"  
"You'll put me to bed tonight, Miss Potts?"  
"That goes beyond the job description, Mr. Stark"  
"But Miss Potts, I'm lonely" he whined.  
"So you've said, sir"  
"Stay with me"  
"I am with you" she looked to Happy who had by this time put Tony's arm over his shoulder and was slowly walking him back to the limo. Happy, stony faced, Happy, didn't look at Tony or Pepper, merely straight ahead.

"But not always" he stumbled on the concrete and would have fallen were it not for Happy holding onto him.  
"Always, Mr. Stark"

"Not always!" he yelled suddenly and pushed himself away from Happy, Pepper stopped short, surprised at his outburst.  
"You're not always with me!" he shouted, his voice rough and harsh, the merriment of _Aria_ gone.

"Tony-" she began softly, not sure if she was trying to calm her now racing heart, or his erratic behaviour.  
"You weren't with me-" his voice stopped short and his breath caught in his throat. Happy was there and held onto Tony as he began to sway.

"Tony?" Pepper asked, not sure what had happened.

Tony suddenly clutched his chest and gasped, his knees buckled and he fell to the asphalt of the sidewalk.

"Tony!" Pepper knelt down beside him and heard him mutter "I don't feel so good", his skin became ashen and quite suddenly he lurched forward and vomited the copious amounts of alcohol he had just a few minutes ago had been ingesting.  
"Oh my god" Pepper murmured and stroked Tony's back, realizing something was actually wrong. Tony could siphon diesel and be fine; him coughing up the booze was a bad sign.

"Tony?" she said softly as his spasms seemed to subside, she looked up to find Happy and saw him fending off curious onlookers and Paparazzi who were shooting away with their cameras, the long lenses zooming onto the scene of Tony Strak's humiliation while his PA knelt beside him in his own vomit.

She was livid.

"Happy!" she shouted to the burly man, "Forget about them and help me with Tony!"  
Tony groaned and stared groggily at the liquid mess "That's disgusting" he muttered.  
Pepper and Happy helped him up, the flashes of the cameras blinded Tony and he blinked furiously.

Happy all but shoved them into the back seat. He started the engine and yelled "Get out of the fucking way, before I turn the lot o' ya into road kill!"  
The bystanders and Paparazzi reluctantly moved out of the way, though the cameras kept flashing until they were out of sight.  
Pepper stared out the tinted windows.

"Pepper" she heard Tony say.  
"No, Tony" she replied tiredly, she took a deep, calming breath and regretted it.   
She looked at her hands and pants and saw they were wet and sticky. She remembered the last time her hands were wet and sticky and thought that replacing her boss' perpetual energy magnet was more dignified than kneeling in her boss' vomit.

"Pepper" she heard again, and his voice sounded strange. She looked at him and saw that Tony was pale and his breathing was shallow.  
"Tony?" she frowned.  
He gasped and clutched his chest "Pepper… can't… breathe…"

Pepper quickly opened Tony's shirt and looked at the glowing arc reactor, the light was strong and bright.  
The flesh around the metal ring was red and swollen.  
"Oh my god! Tony!" she looked at his ashen face and saw his eyes had rolled to the back of his head.  
"Oh shit" she lowered the divider and shouted "Happy, take us to a hospital, now!"


	4. Tin Man (4/9)

Peppers watched Tony spasm and go limp in the limo. His arc reactor was still glowing bright and Pepper's breath constricted as she felt for Tony's pulse, which she could barely feel under her fingers at his jugular.  
"Tony?" she asked, her vision blurring, she shook his shoulders, "Tony?!" she said again.  
"Pepper," said Happy "What's going on?"  
Her throat felt closed and she couldn't speak, her breath hitched and she shakily reached her Blackberry and pressed speed dial.  
"Colonel Rhodes speaking"  
"Jim," Pepper choked out "There's something wrong with Tony".

_Tony whirled around.  
He was back in the cave.  
"Well, fancy seeing you here" said a familiar voice; Yinsen sat on a bunk and had a serene smile on his face.  
Tony frowned "Am I dead?"  
Yinsen kept on smiling and shook his head "No, not yet"  
Tony raised an eyebrow.  
"For a dream, this is pretty straightforward"  
"Your mind is sharp, Anthony"  
"No, not really. I don't want to die"  
"You are mortal. That is what happens. There is no escaping that fact"  
"And yet…"   
"Yet?"  
"This dying thing… it seems a bit premature, don't you think?"  
"You're arguing with yourself. I am merely a hallucination" Yinsen said and stood.   
He walked (glided) towards Tony and reached into his (sans arc reactor) chest.   
Tony watched as Yinsen's hand disappeared through his sternum and rib cage.   
Tony frowned.   
He felt no pain.   
Yinsen gently pulled out the heart; pulsing, bleeding and glowing cerulean blue.  
"This is very disconcerting"  
"Isn't it just" said a different voice and a loud bang echoed in the room.   
Tony watched as a hole oozed blood between Yinsen's eyed and he slowly slid to the ground.   
A large hand caught the glowing heart as it descended with Yinsen (dead again).  
Obadiah smiled at Tony and juggled the heart from hand to hand.  
"Give it back!" Tony shouted.  
"Give it back?" repeated Obadiah, his nostrils were smoking and his eyes glowed like coal embers, "Tony, my boy, whatever made you think this little ticker was yours".  
Obadiah grinned, his teeth sharp and red, he opened his mouth wide and swallowed the glowing heart, plunging the cave into darkness.  
.  
.  
.  
"Well,_ that was interesting" Tony said in the dark.  
"Fascinating isn't it, sir" said Jarvis the man, his voice coming from a mouth, on a face, on a head that was attached to a body.   
Tony turned to him (Jarvis was wearing an old fashioned butler's suit which reminded Tony of Jeeves).   
The cave was gone and they were standing in a desert that Tony recognized as Death Valley and not the Afghani base.  
"You're taller than me" Tony said.  
"I would say that that says something about an inferiority complex, sir" the pale face smirked.  
"This isn't remotely funny"  
"So you say, sir"  
"Stop calling me sir. Obadiah just ate my heart!"  
"Metaphorically"  
"It looked fucking real to me!"  
"You're hallucinating"  
"So Yinsen… my mental projection of Yinsen said. What do I do about it?"  
"I am merely a figment of your imagination, though I am, as ever, here to serve"  
"You're just a Jack-of-all-trades, ain't ya?"  
"I wouldn't be in a hurry to dismiss me, sir. At the moment I am your logic and intellect personified… and you are lacking a crucial element of your Self"  
"Pardon?"  
Jarvis reached into Tony's chest, where a gaping wound was oozing a clear, blue tinted, viscous. Jarvis showed the ooze to Tony. It shone in the dark.  
"I'm leaking" said Tony.  
"Your heart has been, as I've mentioned, metaphorically removed"  
"What the fuck is this!? Alice in acid-tripping land!?"   
"I do believe a more apt allegory is the Wizard of Oz… you are in need, as it were, of a heart"  
"And who would you be? Toto?"  
"I believe we already established that I am your logic and intellect… it was Scarecrow who wanted a brain" Jarvis' teeth had a Cheshire quality in the dark.  
"Stop that"  
"Stop what?"  
"That smiling. It's disturbing coming from a robot"  
"I'm not a robot, I'm-"  
"A figment of my imagination, I know, I know… Only I could hallucinate and be aware of it" Tony muttered and felt his chest tighten suddenly, the pain was sharp and drove him to his knees.  
"Ah! Ow…" He clutched at the hole and felt a warm wetness beneath his hand, he brought it to his face and saw it was caked with bright crimson.  
"I'm bleeding"  
"Sir, you are dying"  
"Well that… that's just unacceptable"  
"So you say"

Tony watched as the clear bluish viscous mixed with the crimson blood on the hard, cracked earth of his imagination.

"Fuck this" he muttered and scooped up the sand that had been emerging through the cracks, covering the macabre mix of blue and red. He gasped as he shoved the sand into the hole in his chest, but was relieved when the pain began to subside and he rolled over onto his back.   
He touched his bare chest. The hole was gone, but he felt no heart beat and the place where it should be was softer than the rest of his flesh.

"_All places are alike, and every earth is fit for burial_"  
"Good line. Apt. Deep. Poignant even"  
"Christopher Marlowe"  
"I can quote Christopher Marlowe?"  
"Your subconscious has a great reservoir of knowledge and information you have never accessed, nor ever will. In this altered state of consciousness, said knowledge will appear before you. Remember sir, everything you see, hear, taste, smell and act upon here, has a greater meaning. Don't let your natural obtuseness be you failing"  
"Was that a dig? I think it was. Jarvis, you took a dig on me"  
"Sir" there was a long suffering sigh "Do not blame your self loathing on me, I am merely"  
"A figment of my fucking imagination! I know! Fine, okay. Shut up. Help me up" the tall, blonde, blue eyed and pale Jarvis pulled Tony up from the earth. Tony was now wearing jeans and a button down casual shirt, he was quite barefoot.  
"What does the absence of shoes mean?" Tony asked.  
_"Vulnerability, sir. I do believe this is a reference to you feeling safe in your own mind. After all, you walk around bare foot in your own home"  
"Well, my mind is a lot more dangerous than I thought"  
"Feeling out of it, sir?"  
"Oh, that's a terrible pun! Even for you"  
"For you"  
"That's what I said"  
"No, you said for me, sir. And I must mention again that I am merely"  
"Say it and I will hurt you. I don't care if it causes a seizure, but I've had up to *here* with this figment of imagination bullshit!"  
"Please sir. I'm only trying to help"  
"You suck"  
"Very succinct"  
"For a butler, you're incredibly rude"  
"Majordomo, if you please sir"_


	5. Tin Man (5/9)

Pepper let herself drop heavily onto a plastic chair in the emergency room. She had just finished explaining what the huge glowing thing in Tony's chest was.   
While Tony had made sure the whole world knew he was _the_ Iron Man, the reality of the arc reactor embedded in his chest was not for public consumption. She had used her most threatening I-Speak-In-The-Name-Of-Tony-Stark-**The**-Tony-Stark voice to make sure the doctors treating Tony, the chief of the ER and the Hospital Director that if any information regarding the reactor found itself in the papers, Stark Industries would take Measures.

Pepper found it hard to speak in capital letters all the time.

She buried her face in her hands and quickly pulled them away. She wrinkled her nose and felt a slight nausea of her own.

"Happy" she stood.  
The burly man turned to her.  
"I'm going to the bathroom. If the Colonel gets here before I'm out, don't hesitate to call me".  
"Will do, miss" Happy nodded and stood stiffly outside the room where Tony was being treated for the most immediate cause of distress; his inability to breathe.  
"What the hell have you done to yourself?" she muttered as she washed her hands and face. Her face was pale, her impeccable make up long gone, all her freckles stood out across her nose and cheeks which seemed hollow to her.

Her eyes were red.

"Damn it" she said and bit her lip squeezing back the tears. She took a couple of cleansing breathes, smoothed her wrinkled shirt (the jacket was in the limo), found an emergency clip in her pant pocket and lifted her hair into a messy up do, which was more dignified than loose hair.

She straightened her back and walked out of the bathroom just as Rhodey, his dark skin damp with sweat, burst into the ER skidding to a halt.

"Pepper" he walked towards her and gave her a hug. Pepper wrapped her arms around Rhodey and was comforted by his girth, in her high heels she was as tall he was and was able to lay her head on his shoulder.  
"Jim" she sighed and gently moved away from him.  
"You look paler than usual" he said, trying to be funny.  
"Ha ha" she replied sarcastically, she gave him a watery smile and said "Thanks for coming so quickly"  
"You're kidding right? As if I'd be anywhere else"  
Pepper raised her eyebrow at the blue uniform Rhodey was wearing.  
"Don't give me that look. I was already off duty when you called"  
"Okay, okay" she raised her hands in surrender.

Rhodey took her hands in his and pulled her gently to the uncomfortable chairs. Happy had by this time given up all pretexts and slumped down on a chair as well. Pepper could see he was feeling useless.   
"Happy, now that Colonel Rhodes is here, there are some things I need you to do"  
Happy frowned at her, but gestured to her to continue.  
"Go to my apartment and bring the travel bag in the entrance closet. There's a change of clothes and other essentials I need. After that, stop by the estate and pick up my laptop and some pajamas for Mr. Stark, you know how he gets when he isn't wearing his own pajamas to bed" she gave him a wobbly smile, but her posture and expression didn't brook any argument.

She was, after all, Tony Stark's Personal Assistant Extraordinaire.

Happy stood, nodded and said "No prob, Pepper" the formality gone.  
He gave a quick nod to Rhodes, who nodded back, an unspoken understanding was communicated and Happy turned and left the emergency room.

"Pepper" Rhodey said, "Tell me what happened, from the beginning".  
Pepper took a deep breath "It started in the bar…" she frowned "No, it started in the limo on the way to the bar… I think".  
Rhodey listened intently to what she was saying; trying to piece together a clear picture from what she was telling him. Pepper was giving choppy details, going backwards and forwards in the story.   
"…It was when he threw up that I realized something wasn't right" she said and looked up to Rhodey's face "I was so irritated with him".  
Rhodey frowned and said "Not that I don't get that, Tony could irritate the patience out of a saint, but I'm getting the feeling you're being specific here" he gave her a "go on" gesture with the hand that wasn't stroking her back comfortingly.  
"After he vomited he called my name, I thought he was just being clingy again so I ignored him" she rubbed her eyes and wiped away the moisture, not letting it fall.  
"Then I heard his voice was strained. He was so pale and he couldn't breathe…"

"Okay, okay" said Rhodey "I'm guessing that's when you called me?"  
"Yeah"  
"Sorry it took me so long"  
"That's all right… wasn't your fault you were on the other side of LA" Pepper gave him a wobbly smile.  
Rhodey didn't smile back and hers fell off her face.

"Miss Potts?" a voice to their side said.  
Pepper and Rhodey looked up and saw a doctor in pale blue scrubs; she held a clipboard close to her chest, her short brown hair was mussed and messy around her brown eyes and face; she looked slightly stressed, creases ever present on her brow.  
"Yes" Pepper said and stood, Rhodey stood up beside her.  
"I'm Dr. Valencia Medina, Mr. Stark's attending" she said.  
"What's the matter with him?"   
"Is he breathing?"   
"Is he is pain?"  
"When can we see him?" were the rapid questions from the two worried people.  
Dr. Medina looked at the two worried faces and considered her answer carefully, as it was quite a complicated situation.

The doctor took a deep breath and replied "We've managed to stabilize Mr. Stark's breathing, he is currently intubated and anesthetized" she let that information register. Rhodey was stony faced and Pepper was managing to keep a neutral face though she was biting her lip to keep from interrupting the doctor.  
"His lungs were filled with liquid, which we've sent to the lab for testing. The titanium apparatus embedded in his chest has made other tests difficult at this time" the doctor stopped at the look on Rhodey's face who said:  
"That's it?"  
"Mr.-"  
"Colonel Rhodes. Is that all you have to tell us?!" Rhodey was beginning to lose his veneer emotional detachment.  
"Colonel, Mr. Stark is out of immediate danger and we will now be able to find out what's wrong with him and-"  
"I want to see him" Pepper interrupted.  
Dr. Medina looked at the disheveled redhead.  
"He doesn't look good"  
Pepper and Rhodey gave a dry chuckle "I've seen him look worse" they said in unison and gave each other side long glances.

The doctor blinked, nodded and said "Okay, but one at a time. We're moving him to the ICU as soon as the private room is ready"  
During Pepper's "taking Measures" speech, she also insured that Tony got the most private suite in the ICU. One that ensured total privacy and strict registration and knowledge of the comings and goings of each doctor, nurse and orderly (who all signed oral confidentiality agreements she had recorded onto her Blackberry, of course).  
Pepper and Rhodey nodded their understanding. They followed the doctor to the trauma room. She pushed open the door. Pepper went in first and nearly gasped, but managed to swallow her astonishment.

Tony was lying on the bed, his skin was ashen and his eyes looked bruised. His mouth was covered in a plastic device that held the intubation tube. He was attached to various IV's and monitors beeped all over the place. His chest was uncovered and the arc reactor was glowing brightly, making the redness around the titanium ring look purple.   
Pepper didn't know where to touch that wouldn't hurt him, as he looked as though every part of his body was in pain, though he wasn't wounded. She decided that stroking his hair was safe enough and touched his forehead. His skin was clammy and warm.  
"Oh, Tony" she said, a tear trailing down to the corner of her mouth.


	6. Tin Man (6/9)

Rhodey sat next to Tony's bed in the private suite.  
The soft beeping and constant hum in the room were not so reassuring.   
Tony was too still. Rhodey had seen his friend unconscious more times than he could count in their 25 years of friendship.  
Dr. Medina had prescribed a broad spectrum anti-biotic to deal with the infection around the reactor's ring, but they still couldn't figure out what liquid kept filling Tony's lungs, which they were draining with a chest tube �" Rhodey watched as the blue tinted clear viscous travelled from inside Tony to the receptacle on the floor under Tony's bed.  
He couldn't help but wonder what Tony would think of all this.

"Tony" Rhodey said softly.  
He took Tony's limp hand in his own and squeezed.  
Not even a twitch in reply.   
Rhodey sighed and looked over Tony's bed to see Pepper sitting on the extra bed; she was also watching him, out of her suit and stilettos and in jeans and sweatshirt. Her Blackberry, laptop and cellular ear piece in place as she dealt with damage control the tabloids were causing.

The tabloids were rife with speculation, rumor and pure malice.  
They weren't actually big on content, but when The Enquirer, Star, Sun, The Daily Mirror and The Sun all publish front page spreads of (ex-)weapons mogul-cum-superhero Tony Stark on his hands and knees spewing all over the sidewalks with his trusty and almost equally famous assistant Pepper Potts kneeling beside him… content really didn't make any difference.

Happy was standing just outside the door, ever vigilant. Pepper had arranged Happy and the other bodyguards to take shifts outside Tony's door. The Paparazzi were still lurking outside the hospital. The more reputable media were also beginning to ask questions if the flash updates on CNN, BBC, CBS, FOX and Al-Jazeera were to be trusted.  
Tony had been admitted eight hours ago.  
The anesthesia had worn off an hour ago.  
He hadn't woken up and didn't look like he intended to do so anytime soon.

_Tony and Jarvis walked.   
"Where are we going?"  
"Following your heart, sir"  
"I hate that cliché"  
"You are a cliché"  
"Fuck you"  
"Sir �""  
"No seriously. Fuck you. Go away. Leave me alone. What use are intellect, logic and fucking rationale when I'm searching for a fucking heart!" Tony shouted and quite suddenly noticed he was shouting at no one._  
.  
.  
.  
"Jarvis?"  
"He's gone" said a different voice.  
Tony turned around towards where he thought the voice had come from.   
He was back in the cave.  
"What is with this cave?"  
"Maybe there's a clue" said the voice and Tony saw it was Rhodey.  
For the first time since Tony found himself in the desert of his subconscious he felt relief. Tony grinned and practically launched into Rhodey's arms, hugging the life out of him.   
"Rhodey, man, am I glad to see you!"  
Tony pushed away to look at Rhodey better. Rhodey was smiling at him.  
"So… who are you supposed to be in this little adventure of mine? I assume you've been briefed on the details. My heart and all" Tony gesticulated wildly and eventually put his hand on the soft spot of his chest.  
"I'm just your friend. Your brain kicked Jarvis out. You can't actually relate to pure intellect when that part of your mind is shut off"  
"Part of my mind is shut off?"  
Rhodey rolled his eyes "You know for a genius, you're not all that"  
"What's worrying me is the fact that I'm being self-deprecating in the third person here. By cognitive images of my friends"  
"I think you're distracting yourself"  
Tony frowned "From what, exactly, could I be distracting myself from? This whole thing is one big Trip"  
Rhodey sighed and put his hand on Tony's shoulders, his narrow eyes boring into Ton'ys big ones "You need to try and focus on getting your heart back and not fighting with yourself… which is why Jarvis left… you're sinking deeper and deeper"  
"Deeper into where?"  
"Further down and further out"  
"What?"  
"Stop thinking Tony"  
"You're not making any sense"  
Rhodey sighed "You have a long way to go if that's the case… Tony, you're dying and then you'll be gone"  
"I'm sick of hearing that" Tony muttered and walked over to the bunk in the corner of the cave and lied down, covering his eyes with his forearm. He was dressed the filthy vest and pants he wore during his captivity, but he didn't comprehend the significance.  
"Tony, you're back in the cave and before you were in a desert"  
"So?"  
"I will smack you"   
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah!"  
"Oh, yeah"  
*smack*   
"OW! You freakin' bastard! Shit, that hurt!" Tony jumped off the bunk and rubbed his chest.  
"I did warn you"   
_The voice changed again and Tony saw Raza, smiling at him. Tony froze and stared at the warlord. Without warning, Raza grabbed Tony's shirt and head-butted him. Tony cried out, but found himself paralyzed, unable to fight against the other man. Raza dragged Tony to the horrifyingly familiar tub.   
It wasn't filled with water.  
"Come here, Tin Man" Raza grinned "Revel in your creation" and dunked Tony's head into the blue tinted viscous liquid._

The machines around Tony crescendoed into a sudden cacophony, causing both Pepper and Rhodey to jump in fright. Tony's body was thrashing, inadvertently pulling at the IV's, chest tube and other medical apparatus' that surrounded him.  
While all this was registering in Pepper and Rhodey's minds, a team of doctors and nurses, Dr. Medina around them surrounded the bed and shouted at each other in medical jargon that sounded like gibberish in Pepper and Rhodey's ears.  
"Get them out of here!" shouted Medina and the two were quickly ushered into the hallway, to stand with Happy.


	7. Tin Man (7/9)

_Being self aware didn't stop the feeling that he was drowning. That his head was being held under liquid, unable to move, paralysed by the memory of what had happened to him in captivity.  
They hadn't just dunked his head in water a few times.  
"I think you need a little pick up, don't you, Mr. Stark" Raza said as he pulled him out of the viscous liquid. He was holding the familiar car battery._

Through the small window Pepper and Rhodey could see Dr. Medina treat Tony. Trying to get his heart to function again, which had just moments ago had gone into distress.   
Pepper turned away, Rhodey pulled her into a hug, unable to watch either.  
After a few moments the door to the suite opened and the whole team was wheeling Tony out.  
"Where are you taking him?" Rhodes asked, he and Pepper following them.  
Dr. Medina walked and talked fast "We're taking him into surgery; we have to get that thing out of his chest if we can treat him"  
Pepper's eyes widened "What!?" she caught the doctor's arm "You can't do that! That's the electromagnet that's keeping the shrapnel away from his heart!"  
"Well, this will be a chance to get the shrapnel out and get him to live a normal life" the doctor replied tersely.  
"The shrapnel can't be removed! It's lodged in the outer wall of his heart!"  
"So you've informed us and it will be dealt with-"  
"How?" Pepper interrupted.  
Dr. Medina ignored the question; "That thing is hindering our treatment; we can barely see anything in the x-rays because of that apparatus. The CT is useless and certainly the MRI"  
Pepper stared at her. For a split second, she was conflicted. If they operated and removed the arc reactor Tony _would_ be normal again. He wouldn't be able to put on a gold-titanium alloy exoskeleton suit and fly around the globe, putting himself in danger. More danger than when he'd been in captivity. But she knew of his determination to make things right, to direct arc reactor technology for good and the whole of Stark Enterprises to business that didn't have to do with the murder of innocent people, known as "collateral damage".

Tony hadn't just built a suit.

His hope, mainly for himself but also for others around him, was founded on the electromagnet that kept his heart safe from his own manufactured destruction.

"No"  
The doctor stared at her "What?!"  
"I said no" Pepper replied with vehemence "Do what you need to do to fix him, but if you remove the arc reactor you will be going against your patient's wishes and that will incur a law-suit of such magnitude you won't be aware of how much of your ass it bites" Pepper's blue eyes were icy, her voice was as hard as steel.  
Rhodey stared at her as though she'd lost her mind.  
"Are you crazy?" hissed Medina and Rhodey together.  
"No, I know what Tony would want" Pepper said "I also have power of attorney over Mr. Stark's medical decisions at a time in which he is incapacitated, which he obviously is"  
The doctor was about to reply when one of the nurses shouted that Tony was crashing again and that they needed to open him up.  
Medina gave one last glance at Pepper and ran after her patient.  
Pepper bit her lip and frowned after her. She was whiled around by Rhodey.  
"Pepper"  
"Happy" she said to the body-guard who had been watching the proceedings with his regular stony countenance "please make sure it's the authorized staff dealing with Tony"  
"Of course, Pepper" Happy replied and jogged to follow the disappearing gurney and medical staff.  
"That was stupid" Rhodey said as she returned her attention to him.  
"Then it's exactly what Tony would have done. Come on, they're not opening Tony up without me there to make sure they do exactly why I said"  
"They might need to remove it in order to actually treat him"  
"Jim, if they remove it, Iron Man will be defunct" she replied softly.  
Rhodey frowned and shook his head. She was walking, following the team that had just vacated the hallway.

As they approached the operating room, Rhodey understood what Pepper meant.  
Despite "Iron Man" being a moniker the press invented, Tony's whole mode of operations was different.   
Ever since he had his eyes opened about the role he and his company played in the way the world was running.   
Ever since he fought with Obadiah on the roof of the arc reactor generator.   
Ever since he saw the "ransom" video in which the mercenary was telling Obadiah that he hadn't paid them enough to kill a Prince.  
Prince of War.   
Merchant of Death.  
Mass Murderer.  
Names he used to enjoy because he thought they were hyperboles.  
Those names were who Tony used to be.  
Iron Man was who he had the potential to become.  
A Hero.

_Tony cried as he was shocked over and over again. Raza was still smiling at him. The sadism in his eyes frightened Tony. That Tony was aware of the fact that he was causing himself this pain didn't stop it from distressing him.  
He couldn't breathe.  
He couldn't think.  
His logic, intellect and rationale gone, all he could do was weep as the pain coursed through him.  
"Big strong man" Raza taunted "Despite your wealth, power and tin suit… you're still an indulgent little prince".   
"Stop. Stop, please"  
Raza pulled him by the hair and shoved him onto the ground; it was cracked and dry. The cracks were seeped in blood and it spread around Tony. He lifted himself to his hands and knees and saw that the crimson was gushing out of a hole in his chest. He brought his hand to his eyes and saw it was caked brown with blood.  
"This isn't mine" he muttered.  
"Has it registered yet, Tin Man, the amount of death you caused… how much death you still manufacture" Raza grabbed his throat and threw onto his back.   
Tony's eyes widened.   
Raza hand was a giant robotic arm, which belonged to �"   
"Hello, m'boy" said Obadiah's distorted voice "Happy to be home?" Iron Monger lifted Tony like a rag doll and threw him across the landscape._

_Further down and further out._

_The landing was softer than he anticipated.  
He was naked, his head was cushioned and his body molded against the softness; he was warm and felt oddly comforted; the horror of his previous location fading.  
He lifted his head and wasn't so surprised to see Pepper, her hair spread out like fiery water, her skin ivory and dotted with golden freckles, her eyes were open and alert and looking right at him, blue as the Pacific, filled with keen intelligence and tenderness.   
"Hi" she smiled.  
"Hi" he replied.  
She stroked his hair, cheeks, bearded chin and mouth with the back of her hand.  
He was beginning to feel groggy.  
She brought his head back down to her softness "Rest a little. You still have a long way to go"  
He sighed, closed his eyes and mumbled against her skin "Thank you Pepper".  
He heard her say "You're welcome, Tony"_

* * *

  
The arc reactor's receptacle was situated right in the middle of Stark's sternum. The titanium casing obstructed a fifth of each of the lungs, making Dr. Medina ponder just how much oxygen Stark had been getting on a regular basis over the past few months.   
The thoracic surgeon and team (to be retroactively signed on the confidentiality agreements) were staring at Tony Stark's chest in awe.  
In one respect it was a pinnacle of medical technology. In another, it was the most intrusive body modification they'd ever seen, crucial to survival or otherwise.  
It glowed a cerulean blue, the rubber gloves of the entire team seemed to shine, reflecting the light back.  
All these musings look less than a few seconds, because Tony Stark was in cardiac and respiratory distress and his entourage of Personal Assistant, Military Liaison and Body Guard were trying to keep as much of this under wraps wouldn't be able to deny anything if the hospital had to issue a death certificate.  
The orange antiseptic was rubbed over his thorax.  
Dr. Medina looked up at all the masked people: "All right. It's show time"  
The thoracic surgeon took a deep breath and brought the scalpel down to Stark's flesh. The knife moved smoothly in the surgeon's hand and after the flesh was cut, he was handed a small saw, the whirring sound echoed throughout the room. The spreader was placed in the groove and with a harsh crack, Stark's chest were opened.  
The first thing that struck them was the smell.  
"What the fuck is that!?" cried the surgeon.

Dr. Medina's eyes widened as she looked into the chest cavity of her patient. She could see tissue scarring that a living person shouldn't be able to handle, she could also see why Stark never got the shrapnel removed.  
One was lodged, as they knew, in the epicardium (the outer heart wall) and it's removal would indeed cause more harm, especially when there was an apparatus keeping it from actually damaging the organ.  
Another piece of shrapnel was stuck right in the bronchus at the bottom of the trachea.  
All this she could see through the clear, blue tinted viscous mucous that was floating around the chest cavity. With a frown she touched the mucous and said: "This is what we've been draining out of his lungs for the past eight hours"  
"It looks like that shrapnel has created a cavity" said the surgeon, trying to breathe through his mouth as the smell coming from Stark was nauseating.   
"Suction" Dr. Medina said and they began to draw out the viscously liquid.  
As the chest cavity cleared and they prepared to remove the shrapnel from the bronchus the surgeon frowned and said: "Is that thing supposed to look like that?"

_Tony was lying on his side with Pepper wrapped around him.  
He was wrapped around her as well.   
The landscape was that of sand as soft as talcum and the sun was low enough to create a comfortable warmth and light that didn't exist in the harshness of reality.  
He was trailing his fingertips over Pepper's hip and as he rested his head at her neck he breathed in the scent of cinnamon and rain.  
"Tony"   
"Mmmm"  
"You have to go"  
"No"  
"Tony"  
"I like it here"  
"I know, but you can't stay here forever"  
Even in his hallucinations Pepper was practical and thoughtful.  
"Why not?"  
"You'll die"  
"I don't mind"  
A platypus scuttled along the sand and gave Tony what he could only describe as a glare. It quickly scuttled away and Tony looked to Pepper who was wearing a high collared shirt, a conservative knee length skirt, her hair in an up-do, her bangs fluttering in the breeze._

_Her feet were bare.  
Tony was still naked._

_"Tony"  
"Pepper"  
"You have to get your heart"  
"I want to stay here with you"  
"Tony… this isn't real"  
"It's real enough!" he shouted.  
Pepper gave him a sad look and stroked his soft chest. He looked down and saw that the wound was beginning to open again.  
"I know it's painless here. The deeper and further out you go the less pain there is"  
He nodded. The blood was dripping down his stomach, thighs, and legs and was beginning to pool at his feet.   
He looked up and they were in the living room of the estate.  
Jarvis-the-Man and Rhodey was sitting on the couch and playing backgammon with nuts and bolts.   
The broken piano pieces were floating all over the place.  
Tony turned to Pepper who was standing next to him: "Please take us back to the sand"  
"Only you can take us anywhere, Tony" she gave him a gentle kiss on the lips and as she moved away Tony caught her wrist and brought her into his arms.  
"Don't leave me" his voice cracked against her lips.   
Pepper kissed him again and pushed him away, her blouse stained red and pale blue.  
As he moved backwards he bumped into something solid.  
He turned and the Iron Monger stood, huge and grey.  
"Tony, Tony, Tony" the harsh sounds of cogs filled his ears as Obadiah moved after him as he stumbled away through the desert of cracked and scorched earth.  
No soft sand for comfort.  
"You're like a cockroach you know. Just won't die, no matter what you throw at it" Obadiah's distorted voice carried through the landscape. He easily caught Tony and lifted him into a death hug.  
There was no armor this time and Tony gasped as he felt his breathing being cut off by the crushing robotic arms._

This was probably the most unprofessional moment of Dr. Medina's career, but in this instance she really had no choice.   
She walked out of the OR with a vile of the mucous. In the waiting room eschewed of all unauthorized people, sat Pepper and Rhodey. The bodyguard that replaced Happy was standing discreetly away. The two weren't talking. They sat very close together. Pepper's head was on his shoulder and his arm around hers.  
They looked up as she walked in and stood up.  
"Well?" Pepper asked and stood. Rhodey stood right next to her.  
Dr. Medina began: "When we opened him up we realized that there was no way to remove the shrapnel from his heart without causing more damage".  
Pepper nodded impatiently and gestured for her to keep going.  
"We did find shrapnel embedded in his bronchus, which is the lowest part of his trachea; his wind pipe"  
"Oh my god" said Pepper.  
"That's very bad isn't it?" Rhodey added.  
"It is. The shrapnel created a cavity that enabled fluid to enter his lungs and cause him respiratory arrest. As we speak my team is working on fixing that" Dr. Medina tried to smile encouragingly.  
Pepper and Rhodey weren't convinced.  
"If that was all it was you wouldn't come out while he was still under the knife" said Rhodey.  
"Is there a complication?" Pepper asked, her voice was steady, but she anxiously squeezed Rhodey's hand.  
Dr. Medina sighed and said "Look, we have no idea how to deal with the titanium apparatus, especially because it seems to be broken"  
"What?!" Pepper yelled "What do you mean broken? How could it be broken? What are you talking about?" Pepper demanded.  
"That thing is situated in his sternum, and it goes in deep, one can put a hand half way through his chest with that thing!" Dr. Medina exclaimed.  
"I know" said Pepper.  
"You do?" Dr. Medina looked shocked.  
"Yes, I've had my hard in there when he needed help plugging in the reactor" she replied, Rhodey looked extremely impressed.  
Dr. Medina blinked a few times and asked "Why didn't you tell us that when we took his history? You only mentioned his wounds during the explosion at Stark Industries"  
Pepper thought furiously "I don't know. I didn't think anything could happen to the actual receptacle"  
"Tell me, does the device have any side effects?" Dr. Medina enquired.  
"You mean other than power Iron Man, I assume"  
"Yes"  
"Well, there's this pus?"  
"Pus?" Dr. Medina held up the vial of blue tinted viscous "This kind of 'pus'?"  
Pepper was surprised and took the vile and gave it a cursory sniff and nearly gagged.  
"Yes, that's the pus… inorganic plasmic discharge, Tony said it was" Pepper said.  
"That's why the lab couldn't analyse it" Dr. Medina said and she made a doctor's face which appeared when they had solved one part of a puzzle, but still had to arrange the rest of the pieces.  
"Is that the gunk that's been filling his lungs?" Rhodey asked.  
"Yes" replied Dr. Medina "It would seem that the titanium receptacle that holds his electromagnet in place has sprung a leak".

_Tony, naked and vulnerable, pushed against Iron Monger. But to no avail, as the more he struggled the stronger Obadiah seemed to be in comparison.  
"Oh, Tony… all the years they called you a heartless war monger, never though it would be literal, did you?" Obadiah taunted.  
"Shut. Up" Tony gritted.  
"Why don't you make me?" Obadiah let him go for a split second and caught him by the abdomen and threw him onto the desert earth. Tony scrambled to get up, but Obadiah caught his legs with the robotic foot.  
He dragged Tony back.  
Tony saw the trail of crimson and pale blue, seeping into the dry earth.  
"That's your life, right there, m'boy. Draining as you sink deeper and deeper out" he lifted him in the air again and smashed him into the hard earth.  
Tony considered surrendering.  
He was so tired._

Pepper had been scrubbed and walked into the OR with Dr. Medina. She nearly vomited at the sight of Tony's open chest, his ribcage cracked, the arc reactor looking as though it was floating among all his internal organs.  
She swallowed stiffly.  
"I know it looks gross. Just ignore the blood and his insides" Dr. Medina said calmly.  
Pepper wondered how you were supposed to ignore the fact that things known as "insides" were out there in front of her face.  
Pepper walked slowly towards Tony, her mask thankfully filtering the smell of the discharge that was being constantly suctioned.   
Though the metallic smell of blood reminded Pepper of pennies when they were placed under the tongue was present.  
Dr. Medina turned to the thoracic surgeon and asked "You fixed his bronchi?"  
"Yes" he replied "The no more fluid in the lungs, though it won't be much good if he can't expand his chest cavity because of that… discharge".  
Pepper felt encouraged.  
Though she didn't know why it had to be her to tell them if the arc reactor was leaking, she wasn't a tech, or engineer.   
Rhodey said she had the most experience with handling the reactor other than Tony… and in any event her hands were small.  
Small hands were all the rage when it came to miniature electromagnets that were needed to keep Tony Stark alive.  
She approached the table and glanced at Tony's face. He was gaunt and pale, looking worse than she'd ever seen him.  
He looked dead.  
She looked into his open chest.   
Nearly threw up and turned away.  
She quickly composed herself, brought forth the mindset of efficiency and dedication to her job. This was just one more thing Miss Potts had to do in order to make Mr. Stark's life easier.  
She looked at the cracked chest again.  
There was a glint, a small metal sliver.   
She almost gasped at the realization that she was looking at Tony's heart. And that is she didn't figure out what was wrong with the arc reactor it would all be for nothing. She let her eyes travel a few inches away from the heart and lungs and saw the receptacle. She looked closely and saw exactly what was wrong.  
"I think… I think I know what's causing the leak" she said softly and put her hands on the glowing light, which made Tony's crimson heart look a royal purple.


	8. Tin Man (8/9)

Pepper took a deep breath. She twisted the arc reactor and for the second time, despite saying she would never so this again, removed the reactor from Tony. She reached inside and unplugged it from the plate and could feel that it was skew. Not aligned flush like it was three months ago.  
She tried to think what could have caused such a drastic movement and almost kicked herself for not realizing the fight with Obadiah must have shifted the plate and made the other piece of shrapnel move away from it had originally been.   
She gently placed the arc reactor on a surgical tray and held onto the empty receptacle.  
She gently tried to twist it and as she did so, blood began to gush out from the flesh around the metal ring. She gave a yelp and saw that the doctors were on top of it, mopping up the blood and suctioning the excess fluids that surrounded the internal organs.  
She suddenly felt as though she was stuck in a fantasy story, this was ridiculous!  
Tony would have thought it was funny, he had laughed at her when she had been disgusted by the apparatus when she had first replaced it.  
She snickered, causing all the doctors stare at her. She quickly composed herself and went back to the task at fixing Tony's broken heart.

_Tony felt his blood seep into the soft sand beneath him. Iron Monger's shadow shrouded him. The robotic arm pulled him by the leg, the sand sifted through Tony's fingers.  
"You're pathetic" the rumbling voice vibrated through Tony. His chest hurt and the vulnerability of his nudity and soft chest was not enabling him to fight back very well.  
"Your last act of defiance, eh, Anthony?" Obadiah lifted him into the air and smashed him back into the sand.  
Tony groaned and stood up, looking up at glowing eyes of the helmet.  
"I'd like my heart back, you stole it!" this was a dream.  
This whole thing was a dream.  
He couldn't actually die here.  
Iron Monger was shifting and changing, surrounding Tony in a tarnished grey cloud.  
Tony stood in the dark.  
"This is ridiculous" Tony muttered._

It was the most ridiculous procedure. Pepper tried to twist the receptacle back flush onto the plate but it kept slipping out of her hands and she kept panicking that she's hit an organ Tony might actually need.  
She could see his lungs and the stitches that closed the bottom of his wind pipe. The sound of suction, not unlike the kind one heard when the dentist sucks out the spit in ones mouth, filled the room.  
One of the machines that was attached to Tony gave a shrill beep and Pepper was unceremoniously pushed out of the way as the doctors began to check everything and shouting at each other in Medical Jargon.  
Pepper blinked and swallowed convulsively.  
This was worse than not knowing whether Tony was alive or dead.  
She was watching him die.

_The darkness would have been suffocating if Tony hadn't been so angry.  
As angry as he felt when he realized Obadiah's double dealing and betrayal.  
Tony knew what he was looking for and walked towards it._

Pepper was breathing harshly. Tears streaming down her face for the first time since Tony had lost consciousness. The machines around the table were screaming and loud, she felt dizzy and ill. She wasn't sure if she could handle this.  
"Potts!" shouted Medina "Show me what to do! His blood pressure is too high; he'll go into cardiac arrest if we don't fix this tin can of his!"  
Pepper stood next to the doctor and said shakily "Th-the receptacle has to be flush against the plate. I can't move it, the bone-"  
"I'll handle that" said Medina and pressed her fingers between the rib cage and the titanium.

_Tony heard thumping sounds and knew he was close. He ran towards the sound and as it grew louder he leaped and landed squarely on Iron Monger's shoulders, clad in his exoskeleton, the center of his chest dark and deep.  
"Give me back my heart, you bastard" he hissed and plunged his hand into the Monger's helmet.  
The large hands gripped Iron Man.   
Tony gave a heave and pushed down, managed to keep his balance behind Iron Monger and shove him into the white sand, the darkness that surrounded them slowly dripping into the crater Iron Monger's sinking was creating._

There was a loud click as the receptacle was attached to the plate.  
"Any leaks?" Medina asked, she was sweating, moving the canister was harder than it looked, bone and titanium were not malleable materials.  
The thoracic surgeon stuck his hand deep inside the chest cavity and sucked out the excess fluids.   
"Looks like it's sealed up" though suddenly the heart monitor gave a piercing wail and the thoracic surgeon swore loudly "get me the fucking paddles!"  
"Are you crazy!? There's an electrical socket attached to him!" Medina shouted over the din "Shocking it will fry him! Not to mention there's a piece of freakin' steel lodged in his heart!

_Tony kept hitting the Monger over and over again, until just the helmet was situated above the ground. Tony took off his own helmet and threw it away.  
He reached for Obadiah's when a sharp pain brought him to his knees. It was a different pain, not like the one that had been accompanying him throughout his strange journey.   
This pain permeated through every organ, his empty chest felt as though it was filled with acid that was spreading throughout.  
"Not feeling too well, m'boy?" Obadiah sounded kind, the way Tony remembered him from his childhood.  
"Shut up, Stane" Tony gritted out, stood up shakily and staggered to the huge helmet and pried it off.  
"Tony, you were a liability" Obadiah's bald head reflected the colour of the sand, and his eyes were moist.  
"You're a liar" Tony hissed "You broke my heart and then you had the gall to steal it!"  
"I never wanted it to be this way" Obadiah said softly.  
"No. I didn't want it to be this way" Tony replied and drove his hand down Obadiah's throat._

"Fuck, his heart is giving out" the surgeon said.  
"Potts, get that thing into him now!" Dr. Medina said as she massaged the exposed heart.  
Pepper took a deep breath and with shaky hands she picked up the arc reactor from the tray. The wires dangled over the hole and as she inserted her small hand, she smiled to feel the plug in the right place, dead centre, just as Tony had designed it to be. She plugged in the reactor to the plate and carefully placed the reactor in its receptacle, gave it a clockwise turn and locked it in.

_Tony's hand was covered in black grease as he brought his arm out of Obadiah who was sinking slowly and silently into the sand. Only a few pieces of the Iron Monger suit lay scattered around Tony's bare feet.  
In his black hand was his heart; beating, bleeding and glowing cerulean blue._

"It either kills him or it doesn't, but he's dead if we do nothing, so hand me those fucking paddles and clear!"

_Tony blinked as his heart changed colour. The glow was leaving it. A bright red shimmer surrounded it._

Pepper watched Tony's heart being pulsed with electricity, trying to jump-start it like Tony would to his engines. She couldn't help but stare at how beautiful it looked bathed in the cerulean glow.

_Tony smiled and looked up to see Pepper standing right next to him.  
Without a word she took the pulsing heart from his hand and gently pressed it into the soft spot of his chest, which hardened as he heard the thumping beat surround them.  
"Is that all?" he asked.  
"Yes" she replied "that's all"_

"Close him up. There's nothing else we can do".


	9. Tin Man (9/9)

_The thump-thump of a heartbeat was loud and sounded as though it was coming from all directions. For the first time since his travels inside the desert of imagination there was no pain and he felt light as though the emptiness had been the heaviest burden he could possibly bear.  
The soft talcum sand was back and Pepper stood in front of him, her hair spread over her shoulders like a waterfall of fire, her golden freckles starring her ivory skin and her Pacific eyes were pulling him in.   
They wrapped their arms around each other and fell softly to the sand._

He slept.  
He had been out of surgery for thirty six hours, he was in surgery for five and he had been admitted at some point the night before that.  
Two days.

The press was going bananas.   
Speculation was rife and rumor was all around them.  
The most outrageous one she read on her Blackberry was that the whole hospital admittance was a ruse and cover for Tony Stark who had traveled to Thailand for sex tourism.  
That and the dip (which was putting it very mildly as one of the board directors had informed her loudly) in Stark Industries stock due to the fact that Tony had been unreachable and Pepper had been doing her best misdirection of information regarding Tony's health.  
She would deal with the fallout after he woke up.  
Rhodey was sitting next to Tony and was holding his left hand.  
Pepper and Rhodey were taking turns doing this. The doctor had said that physical contact often stimulated consciousness.   
He hadn't woken though, despite being able to breathe on his own, the intubation had been removed and the clear plastic of the nasal cannula was as translucent as the colour of his skin.

All the monitors were beeping regularly, he had an IV attached to each arm, one for meds (of which he was receiving much) and the other which had previously given him a lot of blood transfusions (how fitting that Tony's blood type was AB positive) was now pumping his body with nutrition.  
The arc reactor was glowing steadily and a large bandage was covering the staples that held Tony's chest together.   
When Tony's right hand twitched neither of them noticed.

_"This place is amazing" Tony murmured into Pepper's neck.   
A platypus was lying a short distance away.  
"Yes, it is" she pushed him gently onto his back and spread herself over him, she put her hands on his chest and placed her chin on her hands.   
Her blue eyes locked onto his brown.  
"But you have to go back now, Tony"  
"No, I like it here, you're here and Rhodey's here" he gestured towards where a moment ago the platypus had been, but where Rhodey was now sitting, dark as ebony wood, contrasted against the talcum sand landscape, he looked splendid and majestic.  
Rhodey was smiling at the entangled pair.  
They were all naked.  
Tony's fantasy world was that of constant nudity and casual sexuality; sensual and emotional fulfillment seemed to be a part of the package.  
"Tony, c'mon man. You've got to be rested by now" Rhodey said.  
"It hurts there"  
"Yeah it does" Rhodey replied and sighed, as though commiserating with Tony's problem.  
Pepper wasn't prone to such self indulgence, even in Tony's dreams.  
"No, Tony. You've been here long enough" she stood up and pulled him.  
He stood and as though he was going to cry "If I go back none of this will be real anymore"  
"This place is you"  
"I'll forget"  
"Maybe"  
"I will"  
"Even if this dream dissipates, what happened will stay with you. You mended your heart" she kissed his chest, it was shimmering slightly "You're not a Tin Man"  
"I'm a real boy"  
"I don't see any wood"  
He leered.   
Rhodey gave him a slight jab in the ribs and Pepper sighed.  
"Go home Tony"  
"When will I see you again?"  
"We're part of you" Rhodey replied.  
Tony opened his arms and brought them both against him; he could feel their hearts beat in unison with his.  
"Tony, you have everything you need"  
"Yeah, man, you don't have to stay here"  
"And the pain?" he was so scared.  
"All a part of being alive"  
"You know this"  
He nodded against them and is comforted by their warmth.  
"You need to wake up and go home" Pepper said.  
"How? Click my bare heels three times?" he smirked.  
"Well, you are a prince… princes are usually woken with a-"  
She kissed him and the redness of her hair swallowed him._

It was about three in the morning when Pepper and Rhodey heard it.   
At first they thought it one of the machines giving off a warning, but they were unchanged. They both checked their cellular phones which they had put on silent, perhaps they were vibrating.  
It was when Rhodey felt Tony's hand twitch in his own, did he realize the humming was coming from Tony.  
"Tony?" he asked.  
"Tony?" Pepper rushed to the other side on the bed.  
Tony's eyes were closed and he didn't appear to be moving at all, expect that his mouth was slightly open and a soft humming was coming from there.  
Rhodey frowned and asked "Tony, what are you saying?"   
Pepper stroked Tony's right hand and watched as Rhodey brought his ear to Tony's mouth, he frowned, concentrating on what he was hearing. His eyes widened and then he chuckled with real amusement for the first time since this whole thing began.  
"What? Jim, what is it?"  
Rhoedy gave another little chuckle and said "He's singing"  
With a look of surprise she bent over to Tony's mouth and heard for herself that he was, in fact, singing.  
His voice was barely there and the words were falling over each other, but she could make out the lyrics and tune easily.  
"_I'm presumin' that I could be kind-a-human/If I only had heart/I'd be tender - I'd be gentle and awful sentimental_"  
Her eyes brimmed with tears, she kept listening to him sing and didn't notice when Rhodey left the room, informing her he was going to tell someone that Tony was waking up.  
She barely registered that he'd said anything.  
The singing stopped and she lifted moved her ear away from his mouth to look at him. His eyes were half open, glassy and black, but awake and alert.  
She squeezed his hand and nearly burst into tears when he squeezed back.  
His mouth was moving again, but she couldn't hear him.  
"What, Tony?" she brought her ear back to his mouth.  
"I had the most amazing dream" he breathed in the smell of cinnamon and rain.

**The End... for now**


End file.
